Volatile
by ElizabethMarieBennett
Summary: A morning excursion goes awry...Rating for language and possible intense romance situations in future...
1. Morning Meetings

**Volatile**

5:30a.m. a wonderful time of day to be driving down Bandera to get my mother coffee. NOT! What was she thinking calling me at 4:22am telling me she wanted me to pick up some coffee and deliver it to her at work? Was the woman high or just brain damaged? Waking me up at a most ungodly time of day for an addictive beverage that stains your teeth and stunts your growth.

Cresting a slight hill I saw, shining through the mist of hellish humidity, a sign from God (or Satan depending on your preference) lit up like a human bug light. It was… Starbucks! Pulling into the parking lot, I returned to my mental ranting on the craziness of my beloved mother, people's unhealthy obsession with coffee (and how it relates to Satan), and my own hunger. I hadn't had time to eat breakfast yet, and I am a serious breakfast person. I always eat within an hour of waking up. I was suffering; I could feel myself slowly dying of starvation as I exited my vehicle. Barely making it to the door of the coffee cult establishment. The hunger pains were almost completely debilitating.

I got in about a foot from the door before being forced to an abrupt stop, because of the huge line of coffee drones waiting almost lifelessly in line for their unhealthy and addictive beverages. I spun around quickly frantically searching for Charles Aidman, trying to assure myself that I had not just walked into an episode from the Twilight Zone. I watched fascinated, as the mindless zombies in line would miraculously turn into animated human beings after receiving their caffeinated drinks. Suddenly I was brought out of my inner musings by the most tantalizing scent. Turning my head back and forth desperately searching for the source, when I saw it, being put on display by one of Satan's handmaidens, blueberry muffins. Fresh, out of the oven, blueberry muffins. Positively salivating and gazing longingly at my muffins (cause they were so mine) I failed to notice the good-looking young man enter behind me and join me in line.

"Are you suffering from brain damage or rabies, because there's a puddle forming from all your drool?"

"What?" My head snapped around so fast I almost got whiplash. My eyes were met with a visual buffet of yumminess. Tall, broad shoulders, thick black hair, intense blue eyes, and full soft looking lips that were at the moment moving and making sound. I shook myself out of my shock, and tuned into what he was saying.

"An idiotic bimbo that clearly-"

"What!?" I interrupted, shocked at his rudeness.

He lifted an eyebrow and smirked. Oh yes, he dared to smirk.

"You know, you should really try expanding your vocabulary to something more than what." He said this in such a patronizing way to me that I just wanted to rip his eyebrows off.

"Excuse me? But who do you think you are to talk to me this way, when you don't know me, have never even seen me, and here you are being rude, unpleasant and insulting, all of which was unprovoked, and to top it off it's not even six o'clock in the morning yet!"

"Ooooo, feisty aren't we?" He shot back mockingly. Now while all this was going on we had moved up in the line and were two people away from ordering.

"What in the world is wrong with you? Personally I think it's you with the brain damage, I mean here I am patiently waiting in a line that I didn't want to be a part of in the first place, minding my own business when you had to come in and start harassing me, for no good reason!" I finish triumphantly, moving forward in line. Now only one person away from ordering.

"Harassing you? Who in their right minds would want to harass a drooling ditz like you?" Mr. Tall, dark and rude, retorted. His blue eyes were alight in what could only be termed as peeved aggravation, which gave me a small sense of satisfaction.

"You're completely rancid, you know that?" I snapped back at him as I moved up to order. "I would like a tall caramel cappuccino and a blueberry muffin please." The guy behind the counter hands me my muffin after writing my name on a coffee cup and told me to wait over in the pick up area. As I turn to go over where indicated, Mr. Psycho grabs my muffin! I twirl around reaching for it as he steps up to order, holding my muffin behind his back.

"Hey! Give me back my muffin you jerk!"

"Now, now little girls should be seen not heard, so hush up and wait like a good girl until I'm done ordering."

_**OH NO HE DIDN'T!**_ He did not just say what I think he said! I swear could feel the anger shooting out of my toenails. Oh my God, I was fuming. I was so infuriated by his patronizing, sexist attitude towards me, not to mention the kidnapping of my muffin, that I began having visions of demolishing him in ways legal and not. While I'm struggling to control myself, he has the nerve to turn around and start walking towards the pick up area using his muffin free hand to snap his fingers while calling, "Come on girl." That's it then, it has become very clear to me that this man is possessed by Satan and therefore _**he must die!**_ There was no way in HELL that I was going to take this. I stalked over to the man (that's right I stalked!) unclenched my teeth, and let words that I had never before spoken to anyone come streaming from my mouth, all reason and inhibition thrown to the wind.

"How dare you, you arrogant, audacious, conceited, contemptuous, domineering, egotistical, pompous, vainglorious, pretentious, cocksure, oppressive, disdainful, patronizing, psychotic, high-handed chauvinistic jackass! Who do you think you are? Calling me things that I'm not and ordering me around like some slave and then dispraising the female sex. You can fucking go to hell for all I care, because there is no way I'm sticking around a disrespecting asshole such as yourself!" Breathing hard I snatched my muffin from his slack grip, stomped over to the pickup counter, grabbed my coffee and strode out the door. Leaving him standing in silent shock, eyes wide, and mouth agape (total goldfish effect). Oh yes, I felt satisfaction at putting that bastard in his place. Unlocking my car, I hear slow clapping. Turning around I see the jackass clapping and walking towards me a little, with a damn smirk on his face (is that the only facial expression the man knows?).

"Very good, I guess all those hours of working on expanding your vocabulary paid off, but can you spell even half of what you said?" He then smiles. Walks forward again until he is right in front of me, and sticks out his hand.

"I'm Mathew by the way Blondie."

Wonders of wonders I find myself smiling (oddly amused) and shaking his hand, saying, "My name is Elizabeth, jackass so use it."

"Well _**Blondie**_, you sure are entertaining I'll be looking forward to harassing you later." He says this smiling while backing away towards the entrance of Starbucks. I had no idea why I was suddenly feeling happy and grinning like an idiot after him.

"I'll be looking forward to it, Jackass." I called to him, while getting in my car, he waved as I drove by, looking pleased with himself. Next time I see him I think I'll stomp on his toe...


	2. Running Late

Running late, running late!!!! Have I mentioned that I am totally running late?! Going into that satanic caffeine establishment for my Mother, and dealing Satan's hell spawn, and morning traffic, has made me so completely late for the first day of classes and class registrations at the University. So now here I am running in heels at 7:15 a.m., juggling random books and flying pieces of paper trying to find the one I printed out that says what courses I want and where to sign up for them. Aha, there it is thank you God!!! I have to hurry to make sure I the courses I want I can already smell the competition for seats in classes, I will get my damn seat!!! Rounding a corner to my first sign up station there's no one there signing up… yet, I look around and see several vultures headed straight for my table, I'm fucking running for it!! The lady behind the desks eyes widened in shock as she watches me come barreling down upon her, I slide slightly into the table breathing hard, and grinning wildly as I take the pen on the table and sign my name at the very top of the list, before moving a little to the side and leaning over onto the table to catch my breath.

"Galloping down the halls like a fanatical pony is considered most unlady-like in civilized establishments, though I guess when it comes to you we should just be grateful that you managed to dress yourself before exposing your presence upon us." Said a most hated voice that only this morning I became aware of. I slowly turn my head to the right, towards the sign up sheet is, in my head the soundtrack to 'Jaws' is playing, as a lay eyes on the yummy hell spawn.

"You! What the hey?! What are you doing here? Are you stalking me cause if you are – " His oh so rude laughing cuts me off.

"Me stalk you? Don't think so highly of yourself, I am here to sign up for classes just like you apparently are too." Mathew said this just a bit too snidely for my tastes.

"I have had stalkers before you know, so it's not that I'm vain you moronic fraction of a man." Though seriously against my words, he was all man with extra man to go around, damn it. His eyes narrowed a bit…Bad feeling on the back of my neck, really bad feeling!

"Well Blondie I see to my utter horror and misfortune that I am going to have to suffer through this class with you." He said despairingly as he leaned over and signed his name right below mine.

"What, What?!" I splutter out. Struck with pure confusion as to the sudden spectacle before me.

He grinned at me, eyes sparkling with the complete delight a child would have had if given the biggest lollipop in the store. I was struck again by his pure male lusciousness. Double struck on the spot, who knows how many brain cells have been killed because of this menace of a man. And then right before my eyes he reaches over and grabs my listed course sheet, his eyes quickly scan it as I am still standing as if struck by lightning, and if it was possible his grin widened even more with evil glee, as he then looked up at me.

"Well stop standing there looking like an idiot girl it looks like we have all the same classes to sign up for so we better get a move on." He smirked and turned away already heading in some direction, "You know this is really quite helpful!", he called back waving my list and directions sheet around.

"Hey wait you thief! First my muffin now this, I so don't think so you, evil jackass!" Finally I was free from being a human statue, and started after him.

"Oh don't worry Blondie I already know you don't think, your lucky to have me in your classes I can do the thinking for you." He called back at me in a sing-song voice. He was so dead, cause once I caught up to my three inch stilettos were going to by kicking holes all over him!!!


	3. Doomed

Doomed!!! Fire and brimstone, hellish torture only the cruelest sickest minds could possible create, Oh yes 'mind_**s**_ ' plural, this kind of torture had to have been a collaborative event in which all the evil twisted psychos past and future had gathered together to come up with. Why else would I be stuck with the ever annoying antics of Mathew the yummy jackass who stuck to me like fly paper signing up for all of the same classes as me! And acting as if the fact that he was being. 'Oh so generous as to grace my chosen classes as a favor to me in which I should be grateful.' **Puh-lease, I so don't think so!!!!!!!!!!! **Pompous gorgeous windbag playing lord of the manor and treating my like a poor simpering servant, as if! And no matter what tactic I used I could not get rid of him, not following him and heading off on my own didn't work, he still showed up where- ever I was, ignoring him, walking at fast paced clip acting as if he wasn't there, insulting him, giving him the death glare; none of it worked!!!!! He still hung around chatted with me even when I didn't respond back; he's like a fucking tick on a dog with his parasitic head firmly inserted and unable to shake off.

I veered off the sidewalk to a pick-nick like table and bench made of stone, situated in the shade of a rather nice big tree, no clue what kind of tree it was bit it was big, and pretty. Through my stuff on the table and plopped myself down, dealing with the jackass and the chaos of registering had been exhausting and I was getting a head ache.

"Hey, hey!! I am talking to you,_ it's_ rude to ignore someone who is addressing you!" Oh surprise, surprise it's the jackass's indignant and oh so nagging voice. "Hey Blondie what's wrong with you, what are doing?!"

"I thought you were supposed to be 'Oh so intelligent'," I sneered in his general direction, "What does it look like I'm doing, jackass? I'm sitting down after running around for the last hour or so registering for classes while trying to get rid of your annoying ass, and now I am tired and attempting to rest. What do you want, you've effectively ruined any chance of me having a good morning, are planning on ruining my afternoon as well?" I said all this tiredly with my head laying upon my folded arms on the table, not quite managing the amount of scorn I had intended in my voice.

"Oh is that all?" He inquired lightly and softly. Suddenly I could feel two big warm hands at the back of my neck, starting to gently rub against me.

Taken by surprise I tried to sit up, but his hands on my neck held me in place. "What do you think your doing?"

"Helping you rest and relax, so just chill and let me, ok," He stated more than requested to me. Though any complaints I may have had, and I know I had some really good ones, went flying away as he started massaging my neck, I must have been more stressed than I had realized as I felt the sensation of pleasure pain coming from my neck.

"Damn girl, what's got you so strung up to cause this many knots in your neck?" He asked incredulously, as if shocked that I would have anything to stress about.

I would have snapped at him, but he was turning me into a boneless heap of relaxed and slightly dazed jello, so I settled for a grumbled, "Life, the one thing that can wined you tighter than a clock."

His big warm hands paused their ministrations for a moment before continuing, I got the feeling I had surprised him with my words. "Yeah, life can do that sometimes." He said softly and seriously. I was really starting to wonder what his deal was; I just met him this morning, didn't know any personal information about him, and here he was massaging my neck as if we were long time acquaintances instead of what we really were. Just who was he, what was he about, what's his lot in life, I was curious now and feeling a helluva lot friendlier.

"Why,… why are you being nice to me and staying around me even though I've been anything but encouraging to you to do so?" I had to ask him.

"Because for some reason, I get the feeling that we are a lot alike, and that's rare to find in another person, so shouldn't you try to keep that kind of person around and in your life?" He inquired back.

Damn, damn, damn. I am so doomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr. yummy jackass was twisting me in knots and I had the feeling that this was really only the fucking beginning to whatever relation I was going to have with him or was already having with him… I'm already getting another head ache, I am so doomed!!!


End file.
